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I did it again.

Sometimes I say things…and yes, I know, we all do…but I know something not everyone knows…you can’t un-say a thing.

Seems obvious, but every utterance is a 2 liter pop bottle that takes forever to go away unless you make it into something. I said a simple thing on facebook (the word made flash) and I take it as a treaty and I will do something with that plastic wreck of a sentence:

“Kevin Trudo wants to find an incredible way to tell this story”

Oh and Sunday I said “Kevin Trudo you can’t ask any one to care about you if you don’t care about them.” I think all of this belongs here and I’m going to try to say it right.

Mostly this has to do with February.  Some folks Make new years resolutions, but I like to wait. I’m an editor and a very slow mover about some things. I make not so new years resolutions. I’ve had a month and a half to get it right. Last year I made them all in January and that was way too soon, I only hit a few but laid the groundwork for them to happen this year…Either way this is the resolutions for 2011 as of Feb. 2010 (it takes a while for me to get shit done):

I want to play the shit out of these songs. The ones I have and the ones coming. I have some things in place now, and I want to fin an incredible way to tell my story. Ignoring completely that a lot of it is made up crap. It’s a story and it’s mine so shut up. It didn’t have to happen. Also, it has to be incredible. Not good, not great, not even awesome….incredible.

I want to speak at TED. I don’t care if you think it’s dumb or far fetched. I could do it. I could rock it. I have some steps in place but I’m not sharing them. I just will.

I will make Video. Y’all don’t like it when songs don’t have words and when the words aren’t written down and when pictures or faces don’t go with them, do you? I do, but I quit playing for me when I decided to get up naked on these stages and tell this story and when I decided to tell the story the best way I know how. No, I will not be coming to you with things I think you will like. I can’t do that and the work would suck and if 35 years old has taught me anything it’s that I have no damn clue what people like. I’m not gonna guess. But I’m going to spell out the words and I’m going to make it visual somehow.

I’m going to write things and do things personally, professionally and musically that scare me. I’m going to care when you laugh, but I’m also not going to quit.

That’s plenty.

But you need to know that the birds eye view of this whole thing is that I’m more than willing to look ridiculous. I’m willing to dance even though I know I’m terrible at it. I will not get better wanting to dance and I will not be awesome without scaring the crap out of myself.

And I’m going to be awesome.